Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Lilac Rose

I may not be the girliest of girls, but like every female out there, I have a favourite flower. Although, unlike most girls who love flowers simply because they smell good, or they make a room look nice, or they verify their man cares about them when given as a gift, I truly admired and envied the flower I have been captivated with since I was a little girl. This flower being a lilac rose.

A lilac rose is unique, rare, beautiful, hard to find, thornless, and connotes love at first sight. I've only seen a few in my lifetime but it was enough to make me obsessed about them when I was a kid. To this day, I'm still infatuated with just the color alone.

You may be thinking, "Geez, Serena, it's just a f*cking flower." But, to me, the rose meant more. I've always wanted a guy I cared for to see me the way I see my favourite rose. You see, the rose stood for what I hoped I would become and how I would be perceived in my love life. (Yep..most young girls liked playing with dolls when they were little...I liked finding meaning in flowers....Don't worry, I'm aware I'm a freak.)

Unfortunately for me, I haven't been so lucky in that department. Most guys I've been romantically involved with have either viewed me as a red rose,(full of lust), a weed, (jerk offs), or very few have seen me as the rose I admire, only to get too close and realize I'm far from thornless.Those thorns are very tricky to get rid of. I realized recently that although the qualities of a lilac rose may be appear on the outside, (at least to some) if YOU don't truly believe you inhabit those qualities, then the thorns will never go away. You'll end up pushing the object of your affections away...or they'll never want to get too close to you.

What I'm trying to say is...love yourself, because no one is going to see how wonderful you are, if you can't see it yourself. I, myself am going through the process of thorn ripping. Although, I know I will never get rid of all of them. There's always going to be a couple. (which is normal...I'm not perfect.) I just have to meet that guy that's not scared of pricking their finger once or twice.

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